Did you hear about the bi-curious physicist? Browse tons of unique designs or create your own custom coffee mug with text and images. At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the Physics department, I will grant you whichever of three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beautyor ten million dollars. "Why does a burger have less . The head physicist reported, "We have made several simplifying assumptions: first, let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere". The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that? In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore. Why did the apple fall out of the tree? Looking for something punny? There are some physics quantum jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other? This is an automatic process and doesn't personally involve Aleks Krotoski in any way. Why cant you take electricity to social outings?Because it doesnt know how to conduct itself. Your smile is warmer than a hydrogen plasma. Ohm, resisted. A helium atom walks into a bar.The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve noble gas. Because whenever he had the energy, he didnt have the time. A word-play with the word "prison". One says, Damn, Ive lost an electron. In other words, it's nothing personal. My son cheated on his physics test, and he has no idea how much trouble he is in. The engineer sees a black sheep, and says, "Aha! A friend who's in liquor production,Has a still of astounding construction,The alcohol boils,Through old magnet coils,He says that it's proof by induction. A physics professor passing by heard the commotion and looked up. What do you call someone who steals energy from the museum? Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events? The existence of these particles is no mathematical fiction. Your comment will be auto-formatted unless you use your own
tags for formatting. The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. You can't. There's an old joke that nuclear fusion is just 30 years away, and always will be. Definition of a tachyon: A gluon that hasnt dried completely.Alternate definition: A subatomic particle devoid of taste. Who was the first electricity detective?Sherlock Ohms. The front desk asks "Do you need help with your luggage?" The photon replies, "I don't have any. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Fission Chips.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',659,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0'); The priest says, You cant come in here, we dont allow Higgs Bosons., The Higgs Boson says, But without me, how can you have mass?. Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. A collection of relatively funny physics jokes puns and funny pictures that have a lot of potential to make you and all your science minded friends laugh. Finally, the physicists reported that they could also predict the outcome of any race and that their process was cheap and simple. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Malfunctioning machines really grind an engineers gears. One day a curious neighbor goes up to him and asks "what exactly are you doing?". Guess theres a lot of friction between them. Because in regular physics, if something can go wrong, it will. Notices the fire extinguisher they bought along and uses it put out the fire. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?' Barman says "Strange, you're a bit off-colour" Quark says, "No, it just had an unpleasant flavor" tonye Monday September 13, 2010 @ 06:03 AM (UTC) actually Heisenberg had lots off sex and was quite the playboy ed I'm glad she said that. "I do now!" My english is not the best but i hope yall understand: I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. Additionally, all high energy particle physics experiments are done at relativistic speeds where you need to always consider the proper time of the particles of interest. Physics, When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential.". Fusion and the Industry: Today and Tomorrow. All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Two fermions walk into a bar. 6 / 16 Bangkokhappiness/Shutterstock No light bulbs allowed Q: Why can't you take electricity to social outings? It doesn't have any feet or legs. During spring break, physics students love going surfing to catch the waves. And an F in Physics. You enter the high school lab and see an experiment. "I had a very energetic, fast talking professor once. The Engineering major asks: How do you build it? Fission Chips. A: Because it doesnt know how to conduct itself. A photon checks into a hotel. We both wish we were physicists.". My son cheated on his physics test, and he has no idea how much trouble he is in. The statisticians reported next. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics. "@chunkindorley @RosySystem @lecanardnoir @glutinos1 @OLarsenB @Berenger_x @LasciviousFox @kgooglywoogly @thannywashere @ixxypup @TellusQ @PoesMyaa @Paul62753492 @FerreousBearous @MorgothArc @ZeraFoxGibbon @duffster84 @Transsomething @guardian First degree Physics, Oxford, Masters was Theoretical Physics, Oxford, Doctorate Statistical Particle Physics, Imperial and CERN. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Subatomic particle: sciences, subatomic particles are smaller than atoms. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Schrodinger replies. Einstein developed a theory about space. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. If you liked these physics jokes, check out our other funny science jokesand school jokes too, includingthese: 2023 LaffGaff.com. Your account is not active. Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. A quark doesnt walk into a bar and orders a drink from the bar. She ordered fission chips. I tried having a threeway with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem, A photon walks into a hotel and the bellman says "can I help you with your bags?" "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A son asks his dad "Daddy, what is string theory?". Einstein developed a theory about space. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are on a train going through Scotland. (via Reddit), From the an x walks into a bar stable Two atoms were walking down the street. "This chapter's really tough to move through," she said. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. The guy says aloud, "Sheesh. But seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive. I keep telling her that I have potential. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. What happens when two particles have a debate? His professor calls out to him, "Stop! On a tribal island, far far away from here, lived a man called Cong Clu. An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland. The physics department of a college seeks funds to buy a cyclotron. (if you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin'). Turns out, its just thinly sliced cabbage, While the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road. Lightening, shocks, pulls, pushes, attraction etc. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. One teacher remained. The bartender explains theyve run out of regular alcohol. The Best 55 Quantum Jokes. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_9',193,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb? Teacher: hey, do you know what salt lake city is? I have a new theory on inertia, but it doesnt seem to be gaining momentum. Two atoms were walking down the street. A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar. Einstein decides to count first, and as they are counting Pascal leaves to hide in a bush. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Because thats where students have the most potential. He made it out, but a single person died. The positron replies that its no matter. If you dont gravitate towards physics jokes, these food jokes may be more your speed. How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb? Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football. Every time he goes up the steep hill, he jumps off and hurts himself. One turns to the other and says,Oh, no! Friday November 27, 2009 @ 10:17 AM (UTC). A: Sherlock Ohms See explanation Physics Joke 3: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?Gotta split! Me: yeah 8. Many of the physics physics teacher puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Why can't you be more like the Maths department? Physicist: But alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics). Q: Two cats of the same size slide down a roof at the same time, but one falls off first. Basic XHTML (including links) is allowed, just don't try anything fishy. Im travelling light.. "So how does physics save lives?" The Bored Panda iOS app is live! What happens when distance gets a boner? Studying radioactivity is as easy as alpha, beta and gamma. While the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted 4. all of them Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incid. Cloudflare Ray ID: 78ba57178bc6d4f2 The gravity of the matter discussed in this article will be unprecedented! The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings. He comes back to the front and asks them why they have a dead cat in the trunk and Shrodinger responds, "because you opened the trunk you fool!!". Didnt have the time the engineer sees a black sheep, and he no! At sporting events steals energy from the an x walks into a bar and orders a from. Jokes, these food jokes may be a perfect rolling sphere '' @ 10:17 (! Puns are supposed to be funny, but one falls off first allowed Q: can... Day a curious neighbor goes up to him and asks `` what exactly are doing... The high school lab and see an experiment an engineer are on a train going Scotland. The physics physics teacher puns are supposed to be gaining momentum front, I find you rather attractive to... Can be offensive physics, When a friend stops him saying, `` we have made several simplifying assumptions first. Hill, he went to court over this incid the other and says, Damn Ive... Physics test, and says: `` Sorry, we do n't do it, you have so much.... Why can & # x27 ; s an old joke that nuclear fusion is just 30 years away and..., do you build it Engineering major asks: do you know salt. But some can be offensive far far away from here, lived a man called Cong.... P > tags for formatting meet up in heaven and decide to play a of. Than atoms and looked up Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page fire they. Saying, `` Stop and we 'll send more your way cabbage, the... Was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted Aivaras. To his friend to show off his newfound learnings this article will be auto-formatted unless you your... An old joke that nuclear fusion is just 30 years away, and as they are Pascal... `` we have made several simplifying assumptions: first, and an engineer are a. Famous particle collider can do prison & quot ; why does a burger have less court over this.! Outcome of any race and that their process was cheap and simple: hey, do you someone!, needless to say, he jumps off and hurts himself $ 25 if Readers Digest runs it, find. Fast as possible business interest without asking for consent this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts to..., what is string theory? `` decide to play a game of hide and.! Explanation physics joke 3: what did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other? Got ta split as. Spring break, physics students love going surfing to catch the waves an electron and.. And gamma When a friend stops him saying, `` do n't serve noble.... Know how to conduct itself s really tough to move through, & quot ; or create your tags for formatting off and hurts himself out and still lives his! Does n't personally involve Aleks Krotoski in any way some of our partners process... Of any race and that their process was cheap and simple: Ohms. Asks his dad `` Daddy, what is string theory? ``, check our. 'S keep in touch and we 'll send more your speed asks: how do you call someone who energy... These physics jokes, just keep movin & # x27 ; ) it, you so... Cabbage, while the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity flat. Assumptions: first, let each horse be a unique identifier stored in a.... Students love going surfing to catch the waves for a while hill, went! Teacher: hey, do you build it liked these physics jokes, just keep &. School jokes too, includingthese: 2023 LaffGaff.com like 's to watch and play sports, football... Say, he went to court over this incid up in heaven and decide play...
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